


The Secretary

by gooberAscendant



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fem!karkat - Freeform, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 22:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1664900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooberAscendant/pseuds/gooberAscendant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt: Remember that time Dave got a cute new secretary?</p><p>(HSWC Bonus Round 1)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secretary

You first spot her in the lunch room of the animation studio. She sits alone and makes no eye contact with anyone. A shy, quiet girl in a dorky gray sweater. And wow, what a hottie. You decide not to approach. Can’t be too up front with her type. Didn’t want to spook her or she might retreat and just avoid you outright from then on.

No, this would take careful planning. Just the right set-up so she could get to know you without any pressure. She was reading a book, so maybe run into her at the book store? Nah, too cliche. Plus, sudden social interaction in an otherwise quiet, nerdy location? No way. Maybe you could get on a project with her? Is she an animator? You gotta find out.

******

“Yo, John.” You sit down next to your best writer pal at the next day’s lunch. “Any idea who gray sweater is over there?”

John ponders for a moment. “I think she’s Kanaya’s new secretary intern.”

“Kanaya… Kanaya...” It rings a bell, but you can’t place it.

“She does concept art. She designed Sweet Bro’s superhero outfit, remember?”

“Oh yeah! Shit was tight. Literally. Got to draw some mad dong on that one.”

“Haha! You sure did!” John always appreciated your wit. “Why do you ask, anyways?”

“Just wonderin’ is all.”

******

“Bro. Dude. Best bro. Man,” you begin eloquently.

“What’d’ya want, little man?” Your bro swivels around in his giant chair, hands folded. He spins a little bit too far before catching himself on his puppet-covered desk. This man somehow runs this shit show. You’re not sure how.

“What does it take to get a secretary around here?”

“I thought you hated working with anyone.”

“Nah, just creatives, man. Get in the way of my flow. But havin’ someone to answer phones and shit? That’d improve my productivity like a million percent.”

“A million’s a lot.” he raises an eyebrow. You know he’s interested behind his aloof exterior. Probably just to see what will happen. That’s his usual business strategy.

“Yeah, so you really oughta think about nabbin’ me an assistant then.” Now comes the tricky part. “Maybe hire me one of them interns we got swarming this place when they graduate or whatever?”

“Got one in mind, right?” Shit, he’s onto you.

“I mean, I guess.” You shrug, but the cat’s out of the bag.

“Take your pick, man. Your shit comic’s makin’ me a bundle.” Score.

******

She sits at her new desk outside your office as you mosey in a half hour late. You sautner up to her. “Hey, so you’re my new secretary, huh?”

“Yes, apparently the gods above have deemed it necessary to damn me to this hellhole of an an office for another indeterminate amount of time.” Her voice is shrill, scratchy, and grating. “Just don’t expect me to actually look at even one of your horrific murder scenes of the comic genre, and maybe we’ll get along passingly enough so that I don’t have to come to your house at night and smother your stupid smug face. And don’t you dare touch my fucking spreadsheets!”

This was a bad idea.


End file.
